Man about the House

The following is a transcript of an article from the June 20,1998 edition of the New Castle News:

Father's Day 1998

MAN
about the
House
Dad making fatherhood
a full-time career

A decade ago, Mike Nocera fit the stereotype of a man who worked long hours and left the child-rearing and housekeeping duties to his wife, Nancy, who also worked full time.

But the Ellport couple decided to break the mold and do things their own way. Ever since their son Christopher, 9, was born, Mike has been home raising the children full time.

Mike's responsibilities have grown over the years, with the births of twins Michelle and Nicole, 5, and another child due in November. Nancy is a billing manager for Cardiac Surgeons in Pittsburgh.

In 1988, Mike was working as a marketing representative to 12 Domino's Pizza stores, while Nancy was employed by a Pittsburgh cardiologist.

"I was making more money, but was working 70 hours a week on a regular basis," Mike, 38, recalled. "I would leave home around 9 in the morning and not get back until 11 at night. If Nancy would have quit her job to stay home with the kids, she would be here alone and I would never be around."

Nancy, also 38, recalls weighing aspects of both their careers before making the financial plans for their family to live off her income, allowing Mike to quit his job before Christopher was born.

"We not only took salaries and benefits into consideration, but also the time we each spent at work. Besides that, he's real good with kids ," she said.

"They didn't believe me," he said. "Then when it came close to Christopher's birth, I gave them a definite quitting date. They asked if I would work after that date when they needed me. I said, 'Yes, until the baby's born. But after that, you can forget about me.'"

On his last day of work, the management of Domino's offered Mike a leave of absence, leaving the duration up to him. He refused it.

"I never did look back," he said. "I don't think it really would have mattered if I or my wife would have stayed home. But I think it's very important that one of the parents stay home.

"I think people have lost their priorities. My wife doesn't make astronomical money, but we are able to live pay to pay and borrow when we need something extra. There's a lot of people who put money away for retirement, but we are just busy with today, making memories that we can never go back and get. There are things we've done together that I don't think the kids will ever forget," Mike said.

He and the children told about hatching butterflies in the spring and planting flowers in the form and colors of the American flag.

"We all work in the garden together," Mike said. "The three kids planted all the beans this year. Pretty much whatever I'm doing, they are there doing it with me."

Because he requires very little sleep, Mike is usually up at 5:30 a.m. and attends to outdoor chores before the children rise. He completes the housework inside before noon. During the summer, the crew will spend part of each morning at swimming lessons and their afternoons gardening and enjoying their swimming pool.

Dad is also the taxi driver of the family, shuttling the girls to dance classes and Christopher to swim team practices and piano lessons. Mike also spent most of his free time last year helping out at the girl's preschool.

By the end of the day, he's handled it all, the kids, the laundry, the groceries, the cleaning, all except the cooking, that is.

"Nancy would be thrilled if I'd make dinner, too. But that was part of our deal. I'd stay home with the kids and she'd do the cooking," Mike said.

He admitted that he's gotten used to the title "Mr.Mom" and his friends and family have also gotten accustomed to his unique role.

"Some of the guys in town come by and say, 'You know, we all hate you. You get to stay home and work on your yard and our wives are on our backs about why our yards don't look as good as yours.' And I tell them, 'You don't realize how hard I work to keep this job,'" Mike said with a laugh.

Nancy admitted most of their relatives expected her husband to tire of his household duties by now, but he's surprised them all.

"He was like a workaholic before," she said. "I think you'd find more men today that would probably take an interest in staying home with their kids. "You'd be surprised how many of our men friends are envious."


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